


Gone - Original Universe Angst

by cat_writes_badly



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, TW: Blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 12:53:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21119105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_writes_badly/pseuds/cat_writes_badly
Summary: He can't take it anymore.After Max's death, Asher struggles to hold himself together while Aspen attempts to comfort him.





	Gone - Original Universe Angst

**Author's Note:**

> max is asher's older brother, and aspens boyfriend.  
aspen is asher's brother in law, in a way, though asher sees him as an older brother figure.

Asher slumped down in the corner of the dark room, shivering as he bunched himself closer in his sweater. Tears flowed down his crusty, blood-stained cheeks and left pools of red dabbling on the concrete floor. He’s gone. The thought circled in his head, and he clutched his head in pain as he felt it eating at his nerves. I didn’t mean it…I-I could have stopped him – I could have done anything to turn off that switch but I didn’t – I could have stepped in myself and… He buried his head deeper into his knees, hoping that he could disappear rather than feel the debilitating pain of his heart. 

The door creaked open and a tall figure stepped in, brushing the blonde hair out of his eyes. “Asher? Are you in here?” The man spoke tiredly, his empty voice echoing across the cold room. Asher said nothing, and his slight sniffling was barely audible under the continual whirring sound of the fan on the ceiling. “It’s me, Aspen,” The man said as he walked towards the young boy, limping slightly. “Mind if I sit here?” Shuffling sideways, Asher looked up at Aspen slightly as he sat down on the cold concrete floor, grunting slightly. “Are you okay?” Silence. “You’re not alright, are you?” Aspen frowned, his tired eyes staring at the younger boy. Asher shook his head slightly, the rumpled mess of hair on his head somewhat resembling a specific redhead that Aspen had held in his hands many times before. “…It’s Max, isn’t it?” He managed to whisper, his voice hoarse and dripping with hurt, “I’m so sorry, Asher, but he…he had to do it,”   
Asher looked up at last, staring at Aspen with burnt brown eyes, bloodshot and brimming with tears. “No, no he didn’t,” He scowled, “It could have been any of us, any of us could have stepped in to power that…that thing…I could have turned off the switch, Aspen, but I just watched him burn!” He wailed and drooped back into a small ball. “I didn’t even think of doing anything…”  
Aspen gripped the young boy’s hands and lifted up his chin so he looked him sternly in the eye. “No. Stop that. It wasn’t your fault.” He sighed and looked away, “I just want to punch the living hell out of myself for not forcing the truth out of him,” He muttered, pained, “but I know…” His voice dropped to aching whisper. “I know your brother too well, Asher. He did it because he loved us. He did it because he…couldn’t let us go,”   
“Let us go?” Asher spat bitterly, and sniffled again before burying his head deeper into his knees. “Doesn’t he know that I can’t let him go?” He didn’t struggle when he felt Aspen’s arms wrap around his shoulders.  
“Asher, I try to hide it, but every night when I lie in bed I can see…I can see his face smiling back at me, his eyes just sparkling with pure…excitement and joy,” The man hesitated and didn’t mention that he could also feel the warmth of Max’s lips on his, and he touched a finger to his bleeding mouth, ones that he gnawed at for the sensation of pain to overcome the memories of tenderness that only left him with an emptiness that was impossible to fill. “And that’s better than having nothing to hold on to,” he lied. It was worse, so much worse than just having nothing. Every day he would grasp at an empty illusion, chasing Max through his palace of dreams, and when he awoke it was with a hollow heart knowing that all that has ever filled it with joy is beyond retrieval.  
Asher clenched his jaw as he spoke, “He’s just like before, he rushed into this like he rushed into everything, not giving a…not giving a damn about how we’d feel afterwards,”   
The words cut into Aspen like knives as he recalled the first time he met Max, the way he grabbed the young man’s fragile frame and shouted, ‘Don’t you care about what would happen to you?!’ Staring at Aspen now, he could almost sense Max’s presence, a ball of fire blazing in the young boy’s eyes. But he was gone. Beyond any kind of saving, hoping, or any cold-hearted attack Aspen could ever launch. He clenched his teeth and breathed deeply, sucking in the cold air and trying to recall what Max would do in this situation. He patted the boy’s back gently, “We-we can make this through together…maybe he’s…just lost…maybe we can find him together,” He tried to sound optimistic, but even he could sense the hopelessness in his voice.   
Asher only laughed sarcastically, as he wiped away the tears and blood off his cheeks and looked at Aspen, “I may be fourteen, but I sure know a good deal about life and death, and we both know that Max is dead and gone.” He said, trembling and trying not to cry.   
Aspen shook his head, “It doesn’t do us any good to think like this,” He said, frustrated, “If Max were here he’d say-”  
“It doesn’t matter what Max would say!” Asher choked,   
“He might not be here, but he still cares about what you think,” Aspen said, clutching his head in pain.   
“How could he ever care? He left me!”   
“Max told me –”  
“MAX IS GONE!” Asher screamed out, his throat hurting with every word he forced out of his system as he spoke, pain pouring out with the tears that flooded down. “Aspen…he’s gone. I know that we both try to hide it. But you know, and I know, all the kids, they all know he’s not coming back anymore. He’s not going to yell ‘I’m home!’ and make noises like a crazed badger every time he enters the facility ever again. He’s not going to tuck me into my sheets and whisper goodnight into my ears ever again, he’s not going to let the world see his hopeful eyes, or watch him smile, or listen to him say ‘it’s okay’ even when the world is falling apart, not ever again…” Streams of tears poured down Asher’s face as he clutched Aspen’s broad shoulders, trembling violently. He could hear Aspen strangling on his own silent tears and feel the edge of his hoodie dampening as he spoke his next words, “He’s gone, Aspen, my older brother is really gone…”   
Aspen clutched the boy tighter as he wrapped his arms around his chest, holding the smaller figure in his arms. “I know, Asher, and it hurts, it hurts me so much,” He swore under his breath quietly, and now the tears were rolling into his mouth, making it hard for him to speak. “I love him so much, Asher, so much more than you will ever understand,” He let out a shaky sigh, “And I know that you love him too, and he…we…we both know he’s not coming back anymore,” taking a heavy breath in, he shuddered and couldn’t say anything more.  
“Oh, Max, why did you have to…why did you have to go?”   
And the two of them sat there, in the corner of the room, huddling closely the fan continued whirring nonchalantly. With Maxwell Edan Miller gone, they were all each other had.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry this is so sad and max may or may not die in the canonical version. part of the scifi series that im writing


End file.
